worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
