I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
