your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize