i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
