I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
