it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize