If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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