I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
