Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
