operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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