Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
