Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
