And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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