After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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