you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
