A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
