tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This is my gift to your gina
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
