I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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