I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You were trust falling into bushes
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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