I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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