you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
