69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
