Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I need to stop coming to work sober
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
false alarm, still single
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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