One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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