While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
