Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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