You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
