When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
