she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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