You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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