I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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