Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Boobs are out for the taking
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
