also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
