So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
