Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
