I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
