She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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