do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
