I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
