was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
