evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
