tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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