My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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