Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
