We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
