My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
