you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
