I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
