I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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