I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
