the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
