do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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