6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
