So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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