you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
no, he came in my armpit
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
