I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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