U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
