Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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