He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
