We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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