Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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